Inspect This…

I have some simple questions that I want to ask you, my beloved Safety Column reader. Here goes:

1. Are you are really good at checking out your bike every time you leave home?
2. Are you aware of what your tire pressure SHOULD be on your motorcycle tires?
3. Other than the socks you may be wearing, do you know what dry rot is?
4. When do you change the oil in your motorcycle engine?
5. How often do you have your bike professionally checked out at a reputable motorcycle garage?

When I first started out riding motorcycles, I knew NOTHING about the aforementioned questions! Well, I don’t have dry rot socks, that’s for sure…. But seriously, I had absolutely no idea that my motorcycle had to be checked out prior to a long-distance ride. I was very thankful to have my friend, Jerry, teach me these important safety tips. If you don’t have a “Jerry” in your life, then let Catnip Cougar help you out here!

When I’m getting ready to head out on my two-wheeled scoot, I check out my bike inside and out. I crawl around on the garage floor looking for leaks, I check my bike tire pressure (and YES! I know what the pressure should be for my tires… do you? I bet you don’t….) I go through a mental and physical list of amenities that are going to bring me back home safe and sound.

Years ago, when I first started riding, I began riding with a group of cool people that totally had my back all the time. We were camping one weekend and my friend, Jerry, asked me to come over to my bike – he said he had something to show me. I trotted over and I didn’t see the constant smile on his face. I was thinking that someone had done something to my baby while we slept and already, I was coming up with ideas of how I would find the perpetrator and kick his/her royal, stinkin’ ass! I was ready to kick ass now, ask names later! When I got to him, he said, “Squat down here so you can see your tires.” I thought Jerry was sharing some secret way for me to pee without being seen but NO! He was ticked at me! Raising his voice two octaves higher than normal he said, “Look at the dry rot on your sidewalls! This is unacceptable and you should know better than to be riding this motorcycle with tires in this poor condition!” I looked at the cracks on the sidewalls of the bike and thought they looked like wrinkles on dried prunes at a 24-hour salad bar. I told him that I didn’t know why he was so upset with me and that I would get it fixed when I got home. Screeching at this point, Jerry yelled, “When you get home?! You may not make it home with these tires! You need to get new tires NOW before we go home!”

The next morning, we limped my bike to a local shop and had BOTH tires changed. I was humiliated and totally humbled by those turn of events (as well as totally broke). The one thing I never wanted to do was to upset my friends by doing or saying something totally stupid and ignorant. Jerry never brought it up again. I talked to him about the incident a few days later and told him how sorry I was for upsetting him. In his logical, Vulcan-minded way of methodical thinking, he replied, “Teaching you how to become a proficient and knowledgeable motorcyclist is something I wanted to do when you bought your bike. If you ever hurt yourself by something I saw that needed addressing, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. Your friendship means the world to me.” Wow… talk about having an honest, trusting, and platonic friend!

How often do you change your oil? More importantly, how often do you LOOK at the level of oil in your oil tank? One thing I’ve always loved to do was wrench on my bike. Most of the things I do, I’ve taught myself to do over the years. Yeah, I’ve gotten my knuckles bashed, my fingernails broken, and my patience at an all time low. BUT – I’ve learned to take care of something that takes care of my when I’m out on the road. Depending on what your bike’s manufacturer says, learn what you can do on your own. It can save you some money and it can also save you some time if you’re out in the boondocks with bike trouble!

Is your bike shaft, belt, or chain- driven? Is it water or air cooled? Electric start or kick start? If you can’t answer any of these simple questions (especially the last one), please do all of us a favor and sell your bike. I’m telling you this – there are people out there that DO NOT KNOW THESE SIMPLE QUESTIONS!! That totally scares the hell outta me that morons like this are out there on the road representing themselves as motorcyclists. Well guess what, they aren’t. They are “posers” and idiots that need to take some serious attention to the importance of proper bike maintenance and inspections! I sure as hell don’t want to be with one if I’m ever in a group ride and they have a simple bike problem that can be fixed. The air will be blue, my voice will go up 10 octaves, and the owner’s manual of their bike will be properly stowed up their butt!

Learn, Learn, Learn… be smart about your motorcycle and what makes it run, how it runs, why it does things certain ways, etc. Learn from your mechanic or friends that work on bikes. That’s how I learned. And the best thing about all of this is that I’m still learning today!

I look forward to seeing you out on the road. Oh, and if you don’t heed my suggestions on learning maintenance and inspection of your motorcycle, please make sure you hide your owner’s manual from me. That’s all I gotta say…

Much love from me to you!

Catnip Cougar

Editors Note: Catnip Cougar is the Safety Goddess of Krazy Biker Katz. She can, and shall, be very caustic, sarcastic, and annoying in order to get her points across. However, when it comes to motorcycling and safety, she knows what she’s talking about. Catnip Cougar is a professional motorcycle rider with over 30 years on the road.