Category: Catnip’s Corner

   

The life of a biker goddess… Ah yes – the roar of the motorcycle engine, mapping out the perfect destination, and praying to God that some asshat doesn’t decide to run me off the road!

 

I could stay home and spend hours polishing and waxing on my bike, but that’s just too boring. I want to see something, I want to experience the little secrets Mother Nature has tucked away, and I want to meet new people! I was put here on this earth to experience all life can give me!

 

I have been a busy little biker babe! I’ve attended numerous biker events, took a trip up to Georgia to attend the Shrimp Festival, parlayed my way back into Florida to complete some work projects, then back on the road again to Alabama! For some reason, I believe Willy Nelson wrote, “On The Road Again” just for me. Well, it seems that way every time I head out of my driveway!

 

Let’s talk about the roads in Georgia! Georgia has some amazing roads for the adventurous motorcyclist. There are some hidden back roads that you can ride for MILES without much traffic or human wildlife. The four-legged animals peek out once in a while and you do need to be careful not to run them over! As for the human wildlife, they are in a class of their own. I don’t’ mind running them over if they get in my way. I love Georgia!

 

There is one little road in Georgia I fell in love with; Route 40. It takes you out in the country away from the traffic and people. From St. Marys, Georgia, I head out on this scenic highway then venture off on 1/23. It depends on my mood, but I love the water and tend to make my way to areas where there are lakes, tributaries, and ocean. St. Marys is a WONDEROUS place to ride!

 

Ahh… Alabama or as I like to say – ALA-FREAKIN-BAMA. I LOVE this state! Living in Florida doesn’t really give me the challenges of hills, curves, and beautiful back roads. Yeah, I have some amazing back roads, but they are generally flat and non-descript. Don’t get me wrong; I love my Sunshine State! But when Rand McNally is inviting me to go play, I’m going to go! Route 231 is, by far, one of my most favorite roads in Alabama! It’s twisty, beautiful, scenic, fun, and relaxing to ride! Have you ever taken this route? If not, put it on your “Bike It” List!

 

I’m totally old skool when it comes to mapping out a destination. I have gone on the Internet and gotten some directions via Google Maps or Mapquest. Most of the time, these inanimate websites send me to boring oblivion. I’m better than that. So instead, Mr. Rand and I spend hours together looking at places that are much more fun to visit and experience.

 

You won’t see a GPS on my motorcycle! Oh, hell no! Instead, I use small, little colored index cards, written in pencil, and taped to my gas tank. This has been MY form of a GPS for years and it works! In fact, I’ve changed the normal GPS acronym of Global Positioning Satellite System to: Great Places to See. It’s Catnip Cougar’s GPS acronym and I hold all rights to it!

 

With my awesome stereo system blaring Lynyrd Skynyrd’s Freebird (my favorite part is when Allen Collins takes over lead guitar from Gary Rossington’s intro slide) I know that my groove is on and the roads are screaming for me to visit! How can I go wrong when my stereo system is filled with MY music and no commercials! Yes, Catnip Cougar has her own radio station; Catnip Cougar’s Commercial-Free Consortium. With my I-Pod shuffle, it’s loaded down with artists such as Eric Clapton, Rush, Earth, Wind, and, Fire, and the Bar Kays. Yeah, you may say that I have an eclectic and implicit taste for many forms of music. My music has to attach itself to my soul. It needs to reach down and pull up the inner musical aficionada. And that it does!

 

As you all know, meeting new people is my lot in life. I picked that straw and I hold dear to me the fact that it is my calling in life! When I stop to fill up my gas tank or grab a snack for the road, I always talk with the locals. Most people are extremely polite and nice. Once in awhile I get a moon-faced goon that just crawled out from under the septic tank lid (yes… the smell is there with him as well) and I usually smile at him thanking God I don’t have to kiss him or do his laundry. A smile goes a long way. For some they know you’re sincere. For others I make it a point to smile ‘that’ smile where they have absolutely no idea what I’m thinking.

 

One gentleman, in particular, was a delight to meet! He was an older man with a sparkle in his eye. He came over to me while I was enjoying some ice cream and serious people watching. He broke my visual observations when he sat down next to me at the picnic table and started to share with me his days as a flat track racer. He shared with me his joys in racing, competing, and looking forward to the weekends. This was the type of conversation where you don’t interject comments; you listen and learn. These older motorcyclists are gems in the rough. There aren’t many of them left on this earth so it’s important to give them the 15 minutes of fame they deserve. He asked where I was from and if I was afraid to ride alone. I shared with him my philosophy of riding motorcycles and human nature – they go hand in hand in many respects. We said our goodbyes and off we went in separate directions and separate, different, vehicles. This is why I ride and why I love my life!

 

Well, it’s time for me to start planning another road trip. Mr. Rand is showing me some fun places up north that I need to visit. Maybe I’ll go out and throw another layer of wax on my bike, Nunya. She deserves lots of tender loving care since she always has my back and takes care of me while out on the road.

 

Wait! What is this I hear? Allen Collins is calling me! God rest his beautiful soul! The Freebird is ready to fly again!

 

A few years ago, I read in a biker book an interesting take on bikers that wear vests. The writer of this book said, basically, that a vest was something a biker didn’t need to have. It had no real function. It offered  no protection and didn't keep you warm. To him, a vest was nothing more than a shelf to hang your pins and patches. I absolutely, totally, disagree with this guy. What a horrible message to send to those of us that are proud to wear our vests! I’m sure this guy got up on the wrong side of his Yogi Bear sleeping bag when he wrote that paragraph in his book with his crayons and finger-paints. He probably got kicked out of some riding clubs and/or was not allowed to prospect with a true motorcycle club. So, to him, he needs to whine like a baby girl who didn’t get the Barbie doll for a birthday present! He needs a good bitch slappin’ and a major reality check! To me, a vest on a biker defines who they are! When I get the opportunity to meet new bikers when out on the road, I pretty much have them figured out within a few minutes by seeing what they have on their vests. To me, it’s such an amazing way to strike up good biker-related conversations! I absolutely love this time in my life; to meet a new biker friend! Patches, pins, and mementos define a biker. To me the biker’s vest is a badge of honor. It is a large, “Hi, My Name Is…” where they don’t have to have a name unless it’s a cool road name like, Splat, Roadkill, Sweet Tea, and Snaggle Tooth. (And I have totally met these aforementioned people!). Interestingly enough, these folks prefer to be called by their road name. And I love it that they don’t fold under society pressure to be correct by always giving their birth name when introductions are made! I love to see what patches are on a biker’s vest. It’s amazing to witness an in-depth knowledge of an individual when you’ve never met them before! You can pretty much sum the situation up if you’re meeting a military person – there are all kinds of pins and patches defining their loyalty to one military branch, lots of in memory patches for fallen brothers or sisters, and the occasional patch that conveys an immediate dislike for our government. Then there are those that have some patches that define what they like in life, those friends that they have lost, and milestones they have accomplished! There are young biker children that wear biker vests and have adapted to this wonderful lifestyles! Little American Flags, Future Biker, Grandpa’s Passenger, and more patches make up the tapestry of their first leather or denim vest! How cool it is that they have parents and grandparents that encourage and support their love of the motorcycling lifestyle at such a young age! The lady bikers out there are just as proud as our male counterparts. Their vests define the love of riding in the wind, riding their own bike, and the like. There are even some patches that proclaim their independence – something that wasn’t heard of when I started riding 30+ years ago! There’s also the patches that define she is a grandmother, a mother, a cancer survivor, and those that support the various club and organizations that their guys ride with. Then there are the riding clubs. They all have the patches of their riding club with some sprinkling of pins of places they’ve ridden or events they have attended. They are generally a fun group of people that are always happy to be at biker parties and events. They come together en masse and always make a grand entrance. It’s such a positive note and one that I always look for. The other vests I see are the motorcycle clubs. Generally, they are black leather with their three piece patch, MC cube, and the occasional 1% diamond. Many of these people are some of the nicest, kindest, and most honest people I have ever met in my life! Their vest, or cut, means the world to them. You will never, ever, ever see their cut lying on the back of a chair or on top of a picnic table. They earned the right to wear that cut and will defend its honor forever. Their Brothers or Sisters will defend the honor of that vest AND the person that wears it. All in all, I have to say that I love it that bikers wear vests. It defines who the biker is. Trying to belittle the fact that bikers wear vests makes my head spin. When I read crap like that it told me right then and there that this idiot doesn’t understand this awesome badge of honor that means the world to the biker wearing it. The vest defines the biker. The biker defines the vest. They go hand in hand and cannot be one without the other. Looking forward to seeing you on the road! Much love and hugs to you! Catnip Cougar      

Owning a motorcycle has so many positive attributes! However, the one thing I don’t really care for is cleaning it all the time. I own two bikes; a 2006 Fat Boy with huge apes, a throaty bellow that announces her arrival and departure, and a stunning pearl white paint job. Her name is Argo. My other bike, appropriately named Nunya, is a black Kawasaki Vaquero 1700. Living in Florida affords me to ride motorcycles everyday – even if it’s raining. Yeah, I’m a biker and I ride! Raindrops, wind, and black night of darkness notwithstanding. I have purchased enough cleaning products over my 30+ years on the road where I could buy a truck load of chrome for BOTH Nunya and Argo, throwing in a new pull-behind trailer for Nunya for the immense amount of overstock! It’s the same old story when it comes to reading the ‘wonderful attributes’ of one cleaning product over another. As the old saying goes, “You can’t judge a book by its cover.” Well, you certainly can’t judge a good cleaning product by its label. You have to use it and see how it stands the test of time. Thankfully, being on the road gives me lots of opportunities to attend various biker events and rallies. I have been so fortunate to meet someone that knows her cleaning products inside and out! My good friend and fellow biker, Shelley, owns and operates Detailer’s Dream Supply. Shelley hooked me up with some amazing cleaning products for my motorcycles that she asked me to do some product reviews on. When it comes to cleaning products, Shelley knows her stuff inside and out! She refuses to sell anything that does not provide top-notch quality and long-term sturdiness. She spends time talking with manufacturing companies that make and produce cleaning products – for all vehicles! She does her research and completes her own product reviews BEFORE she decides to put these products in her inventory. I was excited to get my hands on these cleaning products and see how they fared on my motorcycles. I decided to let Nunya be the first recipient of my cleaning affection. After giving her a loving bubble bath, I dried her off and started my detailing day using the products that I got from Shelley. For my chrome, I used Liquid Performance Metal Polish. It is a great product that went on easily. I was a bit worried wondering if I would have to take a chisel (or in some instances a jack hammer) to remove it like some chrome cleaning products I’ve used in the past. I was happily surprised to be able to take one of my new cleaning cloths (Shelley sells these cloths, too!) and wipe off the chrome cleaner with ease like I would be dusting a table. The result of using this chrome cleaner on Nunya’s huge chrome pipes and engine guards was amazing! The reflection of the Florida sunlight actually blinded me. Even when I went to pick Nunya up the day she came home with me, her chrome didn’t shine as much as it did after using Liquid Performance Metal Polish! This chrome cleaner was definitely a keeper! Thankfully, the thought of having to get my chisel and jack hammer out diminished quickly – very quickly! Next was to decide what wax I was going to use on Nunya. I decided to go with another product Shelley gave me called, Bootywax Purple Glaze. This is a pretty cool item. It’s a polish, wax, and glaze in one bottle. Shelley told me that it gently removes oxidation and fine scratches. This item repels bugs which is a big plus for me because in Florida we have Love Bugs. Love Bugs come twice a year and they are nasty! They are bugs that seem to be copulating the day they are born; hence the name Love Bugs. During Love Bug season, you can’t help but ride into swarms of these rotten, good-for-nothing vermin. Everything within 10 feet of you and your motorcycle gets splattered. It’s horrible to get home and see your beautiful motorcycle splattered by Love Bug goo! Shelley also told me that you can put the Purple Glaze on your windshields, too. It’s great water repellant. As I went to get another cleaning cloth, trepidation came over me wondering if the chisel had to come out to remove the Purple Glaze. I started on one area of Nunya’s fairing and was so happy to see this stuff came off EASY! I knew that my shoulders and arms were going to get a waxing detail workout reprieve! And I’m sure some of you reading this product review understand exactly what I mean by that! It took me a good hour to fully clean Nunya from fairing to tires. Wow! Was I ever impressed with this outcome! She was beautiful and I couldn’t wait to get her out on the road and show her off! It was time to give Argo a bubble bath. I’m sure as she sat there in the car port watching all this “beauty shop” going on with Nunya, she was wondering when her time was coming! After her bubble bath, I wiped her down and proceeded to clean her chrome with the Liquid Performance Chrome Cleaner. Argo has a bit more chrome than Nunya; her chrome ape hangers, chrome mirrors, chrome pipes, and various in sundry pieces of chrome here and there on her athletic body all got the loving attention this cleaner was able to provide. Again, the end result on Argo’s chrome was just stunning! Shelley gave me another wax product called, Booty Shine Hazing White Spray Wax. This is a pump spray that goes on very nicely. All I had to do was spray this on the parts of Argo that I wanted to wax; it wasn’t much – just her tank and fenders. As the wax started to dry, I got my anti-static cleaning cloth and proceeded to take this haze off her pearl white skin. Again, another amazing sight to behold! I wiped this off with ease and simplicity! I just LOVE this product! Sometimes I wonder if the reason people don’t wax their bike is because they need to work out, building up upper body strength and muscle mass – for at least six months prior to waxing their bikes – just so they can get the product OFF! I know! I’ve been there! Please feel free to call my good friend, Shelley, and tell her you read my review about her Bootywax products and that you want to try them out as well! Her prices are totally in-line with other cleaning products; $12 each for the Liquid Performance Chrome Cleaner, Purple Glaze, and Booty Shine. Oh, and don’t forget the great anti-static cleaning cloths, too! You get 24 of these huge cloths for only $15! She even has a great power cone that you can put on your cordless power drill for a more defined chrome cleaning experience. This Power Cone is made by Mothers. Also, if you have questions about any of her cleaning and detailing products, ask her! She’s one of the best in the business and knows her stuff! I look forward to seeing your clean bike after you use these products! Send me some pictures at Content@KrazyBikerKatz.com and I will post them for all to see! Thank you, Shelley! You have some amazing products that I am now destined to use as long as they keep making them! Argo and Nunya are stunning and beautiful thanks to these great cleaning and detailing products. Now, it’s time to ride!

Toll Free: Detailer’s Dream Supply (888) 640-4337

I hope your summer is a good one! Here in my lovely state of Florida, it is hot! But it’s Florida! It’s supposed to be hot! The heat nor the summer raining season does not deter me from riding my motorcycle EVERY DAY! I have met many people that are riding their motorcycles with freaking shorts and sandals! I just don’t totally understand this incomprehensible thought process of knowing one is getting on their motorcycle and sporting these accoutrements to their precious body! But, you’ve read my ranting about short-wearing-sandal-loving idiots on this website so won’t bother to go there again. I just totally believe that those who chose to expose their skin to the asphalt is a decision that only they can make. Right? Luckily down here in Florida this time of year, most of the “snowbirds” are regrouping up north. Our roadways are a bit clearer, the restaurants don’t have a 45-minute waiting time for a table, and the locals are enjoying not having to listen to the inane babble of these snowbirds telling them how lucky we should be to have them down here “supporting” them. Argh…. I have yet to see a snowbird pay for my monthly mortgage payment with a personal check to my bank account! The joys of Florida’s roadways are an absolutely beautiful experience. Yes, the heat is something you must be aware of, but it’s this time of year when the back roads beckon you to travel them! I can hear them saying, “Catnip! Come over here! Take my road!” Then another back road starts yelling, “Hey Catnip Cougar! You haven’t visited me! Come over here!” I find the best time to travel is early morning or evening. Early mornings allow you to witness the emergence of wildlife waking up to sunshine and joy. The evenings allow you to relax and impart upon yourself some “road therapy” after a good day of working. I recently got a new motorcycle and already have over 8,000 miles on it! In order for me to really enjoy the newness and beauty of this bike, I take as many back roads as I can just to test this bike out and see what goodness she has rolled up inside her tranny and design. I have yet to be disappointed. This bike has afforded me the joy of releasing some pent-up energy – some negative, some positive – with some back road curves and peg scraping! I feel like I’m dancing with my bike. The twists and turns of these roads create an atmosphere much like dancing a Tango. Of course, I’m leading and my bike just follows my every move and action. Like a Tango, I feel the initiation, rise, and closure in the way my bike and I respond to one another while out on the back roads. It just keeps getting better and better all the time! Well, I guess it’s time for me to get back out on the road! I hope you have an outstanding summer of riding and exploring. Be safe and please don’t wear shorts and sandals. Respect your body and respect the road on which you ride your motorcycle! Hugs! Catnip Cougar    

Remember that show on kids’ television, Barney, where he sang the song about bus wheels going ‘round and ‘round. I’m going to talk about something that is near and dear to me; my life and yours! When you’re out on the road and you see a car coming up to a stop sign, what do you look for? I look at their wheels. If those rubber discs are moving, I’m slowing down! Just the other day I was enjoying my ride when a Neanderthal decided to start taking his left turn into the two-lane road I was traveling. I slowed down QUICKLY, moved to the right, and he kept coming! I basically came to a stop, looked at the ape man beast and said, “What the hell are you doing?” He yelled back, “There isn’t anyone behind you !” I couldn’t believe that this moron was moving into MY LANE because there was no one behind me! I decided to stir his audible senses by reciting some specific and candid negative terminology about his personal hygiene and status of where his car could go if I had the strength of Hercules and a certain part of his anatomy was large enough to place said vehicle up into it! It never ceases to amaze me that lack of common sense so many people have when driving out on the highways! As motorcyclists, we have to be so very careful to take care of ourselves. I try very hard to be courteous and kind when I’m on the road. Why can’t the cage drivers do the same? Many years ago, I had an all-out heated discussion with a dingbat “know-it-all” that told me that looking at the wheels of a stopped car was stupid and that I would get run over. I shook my head in amazement that this person even had the basic skills for human communication, but decided to let her share with me her insight on why she felt this way. She told me that she looks at the faces of the people in the car. That way, she would be able to get eye contact to let that car driver know she sees them! This would also provide the car driver the opportunity to see her on the motorcycle and see that she was, indeed, moving down the highway. Now, I’m not Troi from Star Trek where I have the telepathic abilities to read the minds of others (boy, I wish I did!) but that attitude seems a bit, hmmm, let me think here – DEADLY! How in the name of hell can a car driver see your eyes when you are wearing sunglasses? I still haven’t figured this one out and really won’t be taking my precious time to figure it out because – IT’S STUPID! It’s important to be on your game when you’re out on the road. I check all around me. Sometimes I wish I was an owl and could move my head 360 degrees, but that would cause some considerable problems. One being the mothers of the world would finally be able to see what their kids are doing behind their backs. Another problem with that is I would probably have to take a part time job with the circus making it impossible for me to write for Krazy Biker Katz! Now, we can’t have that, can we? Look at the wheels in motion of the car or truck that is waiting to get on the highway. See if those wheels are moving and if the driver is actually looking at the traffic in your lane! No, the driver isn’t looking to see if your outfit is a matching collection from Armani…. LOOK, ANTICIPATE, HAVE A PLAN OF ACTION! Remember, I want you out on the road with me. You mean the world to me and the last thing I want to hear is a cage driver hitting one of my beloved motorcycling friends. I look forward to the day we meet! Until then, ride safe and sing the following song: “The Wheels on the cage go ‘round, and ‘round, ‘round, and ‘round, and they aren’t going to run me over today! Love you all! Catnip

Hello my fellow bikers. I’m still in Daytona and am finally feeling some warmth! Well, I do have my loving and caring posse of body guard bikers I ride with, but I’m talking about Florida SUNSHINE! Yes! Today the sun is actually peeking its beloved little radiation out to all of us here in Daytona Beach. After a few days of that nasty wind and RAIN, it’s starting to be a beautiful week! I took a much-needed ride yesterday in the wind and rain. No… I don’t wimp out and hide in my hotel room. I RIDE! I grabbed a friend that flew over from Hawaii and off we went with two other riders. It was a blast! We took US 1 and let the asphalt lead the way to our destination. During our ride, I was noticing a bunch of outlying biker bars with lots of bikes and people milling all about the properties. Some of these venues had vendors set up trying to make a decent living selling some cool merchandise. What I find interesting is the amount of vendors that are out there selling. I give these vendors so much credit. It’s hard making a living as a vendor; setting up tents, breaking down tents, rain, wind, heat, etc. To those that vend, I love you and absolutely admire all that you do for us bikers! Now on the other hand, there are some shady vendors out there that will take your hard-earned money and run! Generally, they don’t stay in business long and word gets out on the biker street grapevine of the type of degenerates these creeps are. (Ahhhh…. I love the biker grapevine!) And what’s interesting is that these slimy slithering scumbags aren’t usually bikers! They are wannabee posers thinking they understand the biker culture. Losers… I’m also noticing restaurants wanting to cater to the Daytona motorcyclist. The service is generally good. When it’s exceptional, I tip exceptionally. When the service sucks, then, well… the tip is minimal if anything at all. I was at a restaurant and had the worst service EVER! The waitress was more concerned about her boyfriend (sitting behind us) than asking if we wanted refills on our drinks, did we need anything else like desert, etc. Never came back after serving the food - only left the check. Her tip reflected her job duties and abilities. One thing I look at when at a restaurant is how we are treated, how the food is, the service, and follow up, etc. I know these men and women work for tips. We have to tip them well when they do a good job. I also tell them over and over PLEASE and THANK YOU. You know, those words go a long way. I put myself in their shoes and think about the bills they have waiting home and how they are going to pay them. I tip very well when I get great service. I hope that those of you reading this article do the same. Just do one thing… put yourself in their shoes. Speaking of restaurants (because Catnip loves good food!), look around when you’re eating. If you see an elderly woman or man eating alone, get the attention of a waitress and ask to pay that person’s bill. The person doesn’t need to know that you’re doing this; just do it AND LEAVE A GOOD TIP AS WELL! My man knows “the look” when I’m going to pick up a tab for someone I don’t know. He is so supportive of my gestures. Plus, as a biker, that kindness goes a long way in dispelling the myths of mean, nasty heathens riding the roads on two wheels of iron and steel. We are good, kind people. Let’s keep up that reputation by doing something warm and fuzzy for others that may be alone. It will make you feel fabulous – and create a memorable point in your life when you think about your trips and doing something nice for another human being. Well, it’s time for me to take off and venture to the Atlantic Ocean for some fun and frolic (because that’s what Catnip LOVES to do!) If you’re out there in Cyberworld reading my columns, tell me about your Daytona experiences! I enjoy sharing good vibes with the Catnip Cougar Fan Club. Stay tuned for more Daytona 2012 Bike Week stories from Catnip Cougar here at Krazy Biker Katz…

Hello my brothers and sisters of the road! Catnip Cougar here reporting from Daytona Bike Week. I arrived here yesterday, 3/09, to a thunderous greeting! No, I’m not talking about well deserved applause. I’m talking about actual thunder! It rained like a cow pissing on a flat rock! I was greeted by the rain long before I arrived. I started getting wet cruising through Orlando which really sucked. No, I’m a REAL biker gal. I don’t mind getting soaked from time to time. It comes with the territory. You ride a bike, you get wet occasionally. It’s a fact of biker life. What really sucked is that Florida is still packed with Snowbirds. For those of you who don’t know, Snowbirds are mostly old retired people who live in Florida during the Winter months. They usually come down in September or October and stay till April. Ask any year-round resident of Florida what they think about Snowbirds and you’ll get a mixed response…from the same person! We LOVE that they spend money down here. It helps the local economy considerably. Florida citizens don’t have to pay a state income tax because these Northern visitors pay it for us! What we DON’T like about these people almost outweighs the money they bring. They clog our roads and have no idea where they are going half the time. This results in brakes being slammed on for no apparent reason, lane changes with absolutely no warning, and traffic moving 30 miles an hour in a 55 mile zone. It’s very dangerous to everyone, especially motorcycle riders. I won’t even get into how rude and obnoxious these people are when you encounter them in a store, restaurant, etc. They have this idea that they are special and have an air of entitlement about them. They really believe that anyone who lives in Florida year-round do so for one reason and one reason only…to serve them! They like being called Northern Visitors but I’ve always thought visitors are guests, and guests don’t treat their hosts like second-rate citizens. But I’ve gotten off the track here. What these Northern a-holes do mostly is endanger the lives of people on the road…especially bikers. And when it’s raining…look out!!! These geriatric jerks completely forget how to drive when it’s raining. So here I am, riding East on I-4, going through Orlando in the rain, and dodging these idiots who act like I’m the numbskull because I’m in their way. All you can do is say a little prayer and hope for the best. I’m tempted on occasion to speed up and get away from these bozos but that’s not a good idea because of another obstacle….cops! Where did all these law dogs come from? They must’ve trucked extra cops into the area from across the country. I have to watch my speedometer very carefully. So here’s the picture for you to envision: I'm driving in pelting rain which makes it a bit hard to see but I have to keep an eye out for moron cage drivers with out-of-state tags AND watch my speedometer to prevent red and blue strobe lights from wrecking my day! I bet you’re saying, “Why doesn’t she just stay home?” Are you nuts? This is Bike Week in Daytona! This is Christmas, New Year’s Eve and the Fourth of July rolled into one! This is where we get to see old friends and make new ones. It doesn’t matter if you’re young or old, black or white, tall or short, fat or thin, etc. etc. This is where we all come together to celebrate what we truly love in life: MOTORCYCLES! Sturgis is great. However, Sturgis is just once a year. Daytona has two bike rallies a year, and even in between, this town eats, breathes and sleeps motorcycles. It’s everywhere you look. Almost every storefront or restaurant is aimed towards the motorcyclist. As in most Southern towns, you have your fair share of rednecks in Daytona. There was a time, back in the day, when rednecks and bikers didn’t get along unless you were at a David Allen Coe concert. But here in Daytona the rednecks are one with the biker. They don’t hassle us in the bars like they sometimes do in smaller towns  in Central Florida. They is us! We is them! Well, you get the idea. Well, I’m due at the Iron Horse Saloon in a few minutes so I better get my rear in gear and hit the road. Stay tuned for more reports from Daytona from that Krazy Biker Katz vixen…Catnip Cougar. Yee-Haw!!

  I have some simple questions that I want to ask you, my beloved Safety Column reader. Here goes:

1. Are you are really good at checking out your bike every time you leave home?
2. Are you aware of what your tire pressure SHOULD be on your motorcycle tires?
3. Other than the socks you may be wearing, do you know what dry rot is?
4. When do you change the oil in your motorcycle engine?
5. How often do you have your bike professionally checked out at a reputable motorcycle garage?

When I first started out riding motorcycles, I knew NOTHING about the aforementioned questions! Well, I don’t have dry rot socks, that’s for sure…. But seriously, I had absolutely no idea that my motorcycle had to be checked out prior to a long-distance ride. I was very thankful to have my friend, Jerry, teach me these important safety tips. If you don’t have a “Jerry” in your life, then let Catnip Cougar help you out here! When I’m getting ready to head out on my two-wheeled scoot, I check out my bike inside and out. I crawl around on the garage floor looking for leaks, I check my bike tire pressure (and YES! I know what the pressure should be for my tires… do you? I bet you don’t….) I go through a mental and physical list of amenities that are going to bring me back home safe and sound. Years ago, when I first started riding, I began riding with a group of cool people that totally had my back all the time. We were camping one weekend and my friend, Jerry, asked me to come over to my bike – he said he had something to show me. I trotted over and I didn’t see the constant smile on his face. I was thinking that someone had done something to my baby while we slept and already, I was coming up with ideas of how I would find the perpetrator and kick his/her royal, stinkin’ ass! I was ready to kick ass now, ask names later! When I got to him, he said, “Squat down here so you can see your tires.” I thought Jerry was sharing some secret way for me to pee without being seen but NO! He was ticked at me! Raising his voice two octaves higher than normal he said, “Look at the dry rot on your sidewalls! This is unacceptable and you should know better than to be riding this motorcycle with tires in this poor condition!” I looked at the cracks on the sidewalls of the bike and thought they looked like wrinkles on dried prunes at a 24-hour salad bar. I told him that I didn’t know why he was so upset with me and that I would get it fixed when I got home. Screeching at this point, Jerry yelled, “When you get home?! You may not make it home with these tires! You need to get new tires NOW before we go home!” The next morning, we limped my bike to a local shop and had BOTH tires changed. I was humiliated and totally humbled by those turn of events (as well as totally broke). The one thing I never wanted to do was to upset my friends by doing or saying something totally stupid and ignorant. Jerry never brought it up again. I talked to him about the incident a few days later and told him how sorry I was for upsetting him. In his logical, Vulcan-minded way of methodical thinking, he replied, “Teaching you how to become a proficient and knowledgeable motorcyclist is something I wanted to do when you bought your bike. If you ever hurt yourself by something I saw that needed addressing, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. Your friendship means the world to me.” Wow… talk about having an honest, trusting, and platonic friend! How often do you change your oil? More importantly, how often do you LOOK at the level of oil in your oil tank? One thing I’ve always loved to do was wrench on my bike. Most of the things I do, I’ve taught myself to do over the years. Yeah, I’ve gotten my knuckles bashed, my fingernails broken, and my patience at an all time low. BUT – I’ve learned to take care of something that takes care of my when I’m out on the road. Depending on what your bike’s manufacturer says, learn what you can do on your own. It can save you some money and it can also save you some time if you’re out in the boondocks with bike trouble! Is your bike shaft, belt, or chain- driven? Is it water or air cooled? Electric start or kick start? If you can’t answer any of these simple questions (especially the last one), please do all of us a favor and sell your bike. I’m telling you this – there are people out there that DO NOT KNOW THESE SIMPLE QUESTIONS!! That totally scares the hell outta me that morons like this are out there on the road representing themselves as motorcyclists. Well guess what, they aren’t. They are “posers” and idiots that need to take some serious attention to the importance of proper bike maintenance and inspections! I sure as hell don’t want to be with one if I’m ever in a group ride and they have a simple bike problem that can be fixed. The air will be blue, my voice will go up 10 octaves, and the owner’s manual of their bike will be properly stowed up their butt! Learn, Learn, Learn… be smart about your motorcycle and what makes it run, how it runs, why it does things certain ways, etc. Learn from your mechanic or friends that work on bikes. That’s how I learned. And the best thing about all of this is that I’m still learning today! I look forward to seeing you out on the road. Oh, and if you don’t heed my suggestions on learning maintenance and inspection of your motorcycle, please make sure you hide your owner’s manual from me. That’s all I gotta say… Much love from me to you! Catnip Cougar Editors Note: Catnip Cougar is the Safety Goddess of Krazy Biker Katz. She can, and shall, be very caustic, sarcastic, and annoying in order to get her points across. However, when it comes to motorcycling and safety, she knows what she's talking about. Catnip Cougar is a professional motorcycle rider with over 30 years on the road.

Okay, knuckleheads…  get your mind outta the gutter!  Let’s talk about your RIDING position on the highway! I have ridden in a staggered formation, I have ridden in “packs,” and have most definitely ridden solo, owning my own space on the highway.  What position do you like? Group Riding: When it comes to group safety, it’s best to always go with the tried and true method of group riding and that would be in a staggered formation.  The idea is very simple; you have a cushion of space ahead of you and behind you when riding in a staggered formation. Safety is the top priority when riding in large groups.  There may be times that you aren’t totally sure who you are riding next to, behind, or who’s in front of you and what their method of riding is. If you can count, then the following method is strongly encouraged. (If you can’t count, then please stay off the road). One second rule: the bike in the lane to your left or right should not be less than one second ahead of you.  Two second rule: Maintain at least two seconds between you and the rider in front of you. Four second rule: look ahead four seconds at your immediate path of travel to give yourself more time to react to a hazard. Twelve second rule; also look ahead at your anticipated path of travel. Twelve seconds is about one city block. The leader of the group ride must be absolutely competent in his or her duties.  This coveted title is something that shouldn’t be compared to a beauty contest or prettiest bike contest.  The group leader is the one that provides the safety for the group! The leader should ALWAYS have a group meeting prior to leaving on the ride.  Trust me, this meeting is not about the awesome portions at the sushi buffet; this is to make sure that everyone riding is on the same page when it comes to the ride and the safety of all involved! Some of you are very independent riders.  If you don’t take to listening to advice and the way a group ride is to proceed, then do everyone a favor and go ride by yourself.  Group rides have to maintain control and delegation of life-saving responsibilities. If you are unsure, it’s okay to ask questions!  Group leaders (well, the ones that are REALLY GOOD at what they do) encourage questions!  No question is a dumb question.  Everyone wants to have a good time.  They certainly don’t want to be picking up pieces of bikes and flesh on the road if there is a crash because someone wasn’t listening or “doing their own thing.” Some really coordinated groups use the same folks in the same group riding capacity at all times.  Most that I’ve ridden with have CB radios that the leader and sweep use throughout the ride. Most folks have these radios, too, and listen to what’s ahead, if a cage four-wheeler is passing the group, if there is a moose crossing the highway, etc. So, how’s that rubber band effect working for you?  Do you have any idea what I’m talking about when I say that?  No, it’s not the rubber band that the cat was just playing with… It’s one of the most disturbing points of group riding that I absolutely HATE!  It’s when riders speed up, then slow down, speed up, then slow down, speed up, then…  you get the idea.  Throttle control is something that is constantly changing when riding in a group.  You will never really be able to maintain a constant throttle all day long.  That’s just, well, STUPID!  When I’m riding in a group, I use all of my facilities which include my eyes and my ears.  If I see I’m getting too close to my riding buddy ahead of me, I back it down a bit.  If I hear someone coming up too close to me or behind me, I motion with my hand (sometimes with a single-digit salute)to back off. Group riding is really a beautiful thing.  There are some groups that have it down to a science.  They’ve done it for years and everyone knows their place.  There was a group I rode with years ago that had a routine called, “The Dance.” The group leader told everyone on the CB: “now.” When we heard “now” the riders would change places in the lane; the riders on the right would go to the left and the riders on the left would go to the right.  Of course, I wouldn’t recommend this to ANYONE that is new to group riding.  This specific group had ridden together for YEARS!  Most were drill team professionals.  Need I say more? SOLO RIDING:  I prefer riding solo.  When my crystal ball is unavailable, I use intuition as to what the other person is doing while sharing the road with me.  Is that truck going to pull out of that side street (I always look at their wheels to see if they are moving.  If so, I back down), is that old lady going to stop at the green light because she likes the colors yellow and red? (Yes, that so totally happened to me!), what about that tractor trailer up ahead of me?  I make sure I’m in the left part of my lane so he or she can see me in their mirrors.  Riding solo can create some interesting memoirs for an upcoming book, but since I’m limited for space, I’m just going to tell you to be SMART when riding solo.  Determine what position you like while out on the road.  Take mental notes as to what can happen, get an exit strategy in place AT ALL TIMES when out on the road.  Remember, you are the most important thing out there while out on the road.  Don’t forget it. Keep in mind, your safety is key when it comes to motorcycle riding.  If you’re totally uncomfortable with ANYTHING that you are going to be a part of, don’t do it. Find a friend or two that you can ride with.  Ask questions from those of us that have been doing this for lots of years. We want you out on the road with us.  The important point that I want to make is that you find your perfect position.  When you do, let me know.  We can compare notes… Much love from me to you… Catnip Cougar Editor’s Note:  Catnip Cougar is the Safety Goddess for Krazy Biker Katz.  She can, and shall, be very caustic, sarcastic, and annoying in order to get her points across. However, when it comes to motorcycling and safety, she knows what she’s talking about. Catnip Cougar is a professional motorcycle rider with over 30 years on the road.

You’re Wearing What?!? Hello fellow Biker!  My road name is Catnip Cougar and I am the Safety Goddess for this cool website, Krazy Biker Katz.  I can, and shall, be very caustic, sarcastic, and annoying in order to get my points across. However, when it comes to motorcycling and safety, I know what I’m talking about. Over 30 years on the road learning the hard way, then doing the smart thing and educating myself, has made me what I am today – a proficient rider with safety on her mind 24/7. Let’s start out about these wannabe bikers that we all see out on the road.  What the heck are these idiots thinking about when they get ready to get on their motorcycle?  I’m talking about the moronic malcontent that thinks sandals, shorts, tank top, and a ball cap are the “in” thing when out on his bike.  Oh, don’t worry; the women wannabe bikers are just as bad – if not worse.  Shorts, sandals, and a skimpy top is the “must have” of the biking season.  Some of these women have even worn the short shorts, skimpy top, and 3” stiletto boots.  WTF? In fact, this reminds me of a run I was on once. This stupid biker bimbo had that exact outfit on! We had a stop light on a steel deck bridge and she got her heel caught in the deck of the bridge!  I laughed my ass off! I pray the day DOES NOT come when they go down and lose a few yards of skin.  How about a couple toes and a foot to add to that disgusting image.  I mean, those Peche Platinum sandals are such great protection! Of course, being the smart ass that I am, I like to ask these people why they wear what they wear.  I just want to know why, that’s all. Nothing more. I like to be educated on issues that I may not be aware of; in particular, the look of “cool” on a motorcycle. There could have been a really new look presented in the recent issue of Vogue or GQ that I missed! What’s important to me is making sure all my vulnerable areas are covered up and barricaded against the onslaught of asphalt, flying critters, and any other thing that may get in my way while out on my bike. Boots are a freakin MUST HAVE!  There are some pretty cool looking boots out on the market for those of us that feel the need to look “cool.” The stiletto heels are NOT cool when riding a motorcycle. Stiletto boots should only be used when either 1) amateur night at the local strip bar 2) on Halloween when dressing up as Elvira or 3) proving to your friends you can run a mile in them without falling over.    The other MUST HAVE are gloves.  Think to yourself; what’s the first thing you’re going to do when you fall?  Your arms automatically come out to block the fall.  No gloves mean you’ve donated your skin, nails, and fingers to the asphalt cause. I prefer the padded palm gloves.  Pleather (pretend leather that’s really plastic) gloves are a NO NO! Why people spend their hard-earned money on Pleather is beyond my comprehension… Get yourself a good pair of gloves!  End of glove conversation! Shorts and motorcycling.  No freakin way, dude and dude-ette. Jeans are a MUST HAVE!  Again, you can spend anywhere from $15 to $200 for a pair of jeans.  If you’ve got more money than sense, then spend the extra bucks for a pair of jeans specifically for motorcycling like Draggin Jeans, Rocket Steel Jeans, Sliders Kevlar Jeans, etc. I personally prefer my Lee Jeans.  They’ve been my best jeans for over 30 years of riding. They have never let me down – literally and figuratively! Jackets are a MUST HAVE!  I have personally talked to some guys that have lost a crap-load of skin on their arms because they wore tank tops and went down.  The scrubbing of their skin with a brillo-type medical implement is a conversation those with weak stomachs do not want to engage in.  This one guy in particular said that he didn’t put his jacket on because he was just going down the road a couple miles.  A deer decided to lead in the waltz on that asphalt-floor mishap. After a few years of healing, his skin is now a translucent pink.  He was lucky.  Some people lose a foot or other appendage due to nasty infections like gangrene. Yeah, I’ve met some of them, too.  There are some great all-weather type jackets out there that will stand by you for years and years.  Heck, I’ve still got my original leather jacket!  It’s my first leather jacket and has a zipper liner.  Love it! Now, for me personally, I wear a helmet.  I live in a state that lets the motorcycle rider decide if he or she wants to wear a helmet.  That’s totally cool and something I love – that we get to choose.  My helmets are coordinated to my mood, my style, the day, the riding conditions, etc.  I have an eclectic selection from which to choose from on a daily basis.  It’s kind like my Victoria’s Secret collection; they are all categorized by style and color. (Oh yeah, you’re going to learn a lot about me!) The bottom line is with helmets is that I have the right to choose.  I choose to wear one.  I’ve known of so many bikers that have some pretty disgusting stories of NOT wearing a helmet when they went down.  I don’t want to emulate their pain or long-term suffering. Thankfully, living in America, we can pretty much do as we damned well please.  As bikers, we can do that as well and have the attitude to back it up.  My hope is that those dingdongs out there wearing beach apparel while riding down the highway don’t learn the hard, painful way. Looking cool is LOOKING COOL.  What’s cool to me, is the INSIDE of the person.  I don’t give a rat’s ass what make of bike or make of leather boots you wear as long as you wear the right outfit when out on the road.  I may not have met you – yet. But already, I care about you and your safety out on the road.  Well, I’m being told that my post is long enough.  Stay tuned to this awesome website for more Safety Columns by me. Much love to you from me…  See you out on the road… “Catnip Cougar”